Anchor

It feels as though I have been thrust into the ocean with an anchor latched to my heart. Besieged by the depths of the churning, black ocean that I am dragged into as a lost soul is dragged into the pits of Hell. Down, down I sink. Faster and faster. I struggle, fight, gasp for air. My screams are muffled. The toxic salt water suffocates me. The anchor pulls me down, down, down, down…

Can’t breath.

Blackness.

Nothing.

My hatred for you burns inside, searing all that is within me. It bubbles up like vomit, nearly spewing out. One day it will errupt and it will sear you like it has cremated me.

You are my father,

yet you fill my eyes with tears.

I just want you gone.

Please, please go away.

You only bring me heartache.

I hate you so much.

Why can you not see

how much pain you bring to me?

I just want you gone.

Please either grow up or leave

To you I will never again cleave

You act like a child

You’re stubborn and mean

Of you I want my life to be cleaned

Haiku

Now we are estranged…

It was me you used to love.

You are dead to me.

I complain a lot.

   I don’t know why I am so negative. Maybe it’s hereditary. 

   I just don’t understand the people who are happy 24/7. Are their lives really that perfect and wonderful, or are they acting? Probably the latter.

   I know I should be more positive, but I just can’t bring myself to be fake-happy all of the time. I can’t pretend to be in a good mood when I feel like crap.

   Why do other people get more joy out of life than I do?

Free verse poem.

Please tell me

what the meaning of life is.

What is its purpose?

Why does it have to hurt so much?

Confusion holds me in its clutch.

Where’s a time machine when you need one?

    I wish I could rewind my life and start over.. or at least last year. I really screwed up and caused a lot of hurt that I can never undo. I gave up the people that mattered most in exchange for someone that I barely even knew. What was I thinking? Oh that’s right, I wasn’t. I lost my best friend, and now things can never be as well with that person as they once were. Our relationship has been broken and glued back together, but the cracks are still there: Things will never be the same. I have become something that I don’t recognize or even like when I look in the mirror.

Why did I have to trade greatness for decay?